1. "Glenn, thank you so much for helping me tear up my carpet." - Lois Griffin
2. "I know Lee from....Starbucks" - Stewie Griffin
3. "You know, I don't mean to be rude, but do you have a more comfortable chair?" - Glenn Quagmire
4. "Hey, Brian, in hopes that you'll open your heart to God, I wanted to give you this cross"
5. "You must be a parking ticket, cuz you got fine written all over you" - Peter Griffin
6. "This one time we got so baked we ended up eating all the food at the food the World Health Organization had airlifted in. Oh man those villagers were so pissed!" - Brian
7. "Well if you're not Jesus Christ then you won't mind if I pee on these Amy Grant CDs" - Peter Griffin
8. "And reports indicate she has also consumed a record amount of seamen" - Tom Tucker
9. "Nope, sorry. Kevin Bacon wasn't in Footlose" - A Mule
10. "You are the weakest link. Goodbye!" - Olivia
11. "Whoa, I gotta be Henry the VIII in 20 minutes. Hello, Hello, Ello! Got it."
12. "And don't you mouth off to me, or I'm gonna slap you right in your penis" - Mickey McFinnigan
13. "Yay! Cheese, cheese, cheese! Yay!" -
14. "Is it a douche? Is Lady Gaga a douche?" - Joe Swanson
15. "Oh the gift basket was not worth the trip. Not by a long shot!" - Joe Swanson